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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

trust

I don't know about you, but sometimes I have a hard time placing my complete trust in God. Though I know He loves me a ginormous amount and has great plans for me, I think I stumble when it comes to the fact that I can't see God or be able to sit down and have a face-to-face conversation with Him (though I know He's always with me and I can talk to Him anytime - it's just not the same thing as having a physical conversation over a cup of coffee or whatever). It's like when you were younger and had an invisible best friend. You were the only one who could see this friend or talk to this friend - everyone else was simply missing out because they couldn't see your friend.
I find myself frustrated because I can confidently know I'm saved but falter when it comes to trusting God with things that pale in comparison. How can I not doubt my salvation but wonder if He's big enough to handle various everyday trials I experience or goals I want to accomplish? I know common sense says this is a no-brainer but I guess when it comes down to things I really want and yet God is silent on the issue (for at least the moment), it's hard for me not to second guess myself and just wonder...
However, if I can remind myself of the little ways God shows He hears me, I can take comfort in that and know He will answer me. An example of this happened last night. I was making pigs in a blanket for Kynetic and thought I wasn't going to have enough cheese to stuff the hot dogs with. I had resigned myself to the fact that two weren't going to have cheese inside them but remember saying, "God I pray I have enough cheese." As I was throwing the box away, I noticed it felt a little heavy and there stuck in the corner were several more slices. To some this may seem completely stupid and nothing more than a coincidence but I'd like to think it was God's way of showing me He's not forgotten me and takes the time to show me that by making sure I had enough cheese to make pigs in a blanket :-)

2 comments:

  1. I like you're pigs in the blanket story! and i wish i had been there.. i love pigs in the blanket (mainly just the blanket part).
    I'm kinda like you, i want to know every thing that is going to happen. Perfectly planned out. I really enjoy (like, probably too much) itineraries and schedules. Structure is my blankey, and i need it with me.
    But God likes to mess up my comfort nap time often.. and i Try not to resent him for it. (ugh that Boy).
    The only schedule he can give me is His promise to keep me. While even better than any exact plan He could hand me.. it test my trust daily.

    He reminds me every time I jump, by catching me, that He is here. And must know more than i ever will.

    Thanks for that blankey ;)

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  2. carly, you're preaching to the choir when it comes to understanding my schedule and God's are two separate things :-) i wonder if He ever laughs when watching us try to carefully plan out our lives? i'm sure we provide Him with much entertainment :-) and since He and i don't always agree on things, i have no choice but to trust Him. i know He won't let me down; it's just that whole thing of not knowing that i really don't like. giving up control is sooo not fun but i guess if i had to give it up, giving it to God would be the smart choice :-)

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