jump

Sometimes in life you just have to close your eyes and jump. I had a "jump" moment earlier today, thus sparking a blog post. My ultimate career goal is to be a teacher so I'm subbing as a way to get my foot in the door. The hard part of this is the aspect that I'm walking into a classroom, not knowing what grade I'll be with (though I can now do a little legwork to find that out in advance) or any background knowledge of these kids. Each day is a "first day" for me until I become familiar with the school, teachers and students. A big part of me wants to cling to what I know, only wanting to work in schools that I've been to before because it's comfortable. The other part of me knows I need to step out and establish as many connections as I possibly can so my name is out there when hiring time comes in the spring. It's all a matter of deciding to just jump. Back in the summer, my youth group went to a local pool for a fellowship evening. No sermon, no small groups - just hanging out. I had a sudden surge of boldness and wanted to go off the high dive. One of the teens went with me and I watched her gracefully splash into the water. Then it was my turn. I realized about halfway up the ladder just how high this really was. Reaching the top, I looked out and then down. It seemed like a very long way down. If I had continued to stand there, thinking about how far I would soon be falling, I might've chickened out. Instead, I took a deep breath and jumped. It was a surreal feeling because I remember that it felt like I kept falling and falling before I met the water. Coming up for air moments later, I swam to the side and climbed out. Was I glad I had jumped? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably not :-) But I jumped - I didn't let anything keep me from taking that leap and that's something I want to apply to my life in order to enjoy this one shot I have at it.

book review: "love, charleston" by beth webb hart

Sisters Anne and Lish with their cousin Della all live in Charleston. They’ve been close all their lives and Lish lives in their childhood home with her husband and two kids. Married to a doctor and pregnant with their third child, Lish has the life Della secretly longs for. With a daughter of her own, she’s married to a handsome sculptor but most days they make enough money to barely get by. Anne is still single but believes God spoke to her, telling her to “stay and wait” for her future husband in Charleston. Lish suffers complications from her pregnancy and gives birth to her baby when she’s seven and a half months pregnant. Both mother and daughter are fine but it’s when she’s sent home that things began to slowly creep downhill. Lish falls into a state of depression, having to be admitted to the psychiatric ward at the hospital. Her husband tells her she needs to pull through this because he’s been offered a job in Atlanta and he feels he can’t pass the opportunity up. It takes Della and Anne taking care of Lish for her to finally start to pull through the fog she’s been living in. Her husband files for divorce and Della and her family move in with Lish to help with her children. All during this time of family upheaval, a new minister moves into Charleston with his daughter. He’s a widower and is hoping that this might be a fresh start for him. It’s when he meets Anne that he wants to give dating another try after so long. The last page of the book has everyone together, Della deciding if whether the way their lives have taken a turn can be deemed as a happy ending. “Is this is a happy ending? Della asked herself as she watched her daughter suck the meat of the loquat and reach for another. And then she turned to see Lish, who took Cecilia in her arms and kissed her cheek and neck before rocking her back and forth. Della watched her cousin’s hands. They seemed sturdy and capable as they took hold of the toddler, as if to confirm through the sense of touch what every child longed to hear from their parent: “Yes, my little one. I am here for you.” Della took a deep breath as Lish lifted Cecelia up into the sky, the sun filtering through her plump little toes. Yes, Della thought as Anne nudged her elbow and handed her a loquat. This is.

I liked the way the book didn’t end with a conventional “happy ending.” I didn’t like how Hart seemed to barely touch on everyone’s story without really fleshing out the characters. You know what Della’s going through but it seems as though she and Lish are the dominant characters. I like how real Della and Lish are but I wanted to know more about Roy (the minister) and Anne. At times it seemed the solutions the women were going through could be found in each other instead of God but overall, a good read.

Note: I received this book free to review from Thomas Nelson Publishers and was not required to write a positive review.

still single

I want to encourage my fellow single friends out there. I think I've mentioned before that I want to get married. I want to stand in front of friends and family and say "I do" to the guy God's been saving just for me. I know relationships are complicated and not every day with the one you love will always be happy and smooth sailing. I'm aware of that yet that doesn't take my desire for marriage away. I came across something the other day that's changed how I've been praying for a husband. Maybe this will help you too. Boundless.org is an extension of Focus on the Family. This is their webzine targeted to young adults and marriage/dating is a frequent topic of interest. One article, "How to Pray for Your Husband" caught my eye (http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0002325.cfm). The author says that while quoting verse after verse regarding marriage is good and all, you need to actually pray for your future spouse. Pray that he's moving to the point of being ready for marriage (be it spiritually, emotionally, financially). Pray that God's preparing him for that huge step and for you. This changed how I approach the subject with God. It's taking it beyond "thank You for my husband" but putting feet to that prayer by asking God to help my Mr. Right move to the point of feeling able to take on a wife and maybe family one day.

another day

I'm making a decision about how I view life. Each day is not just "another day." Pepperidge Farm came out with a slogan saying, "never have an ordinary day." That's my new philosophy. Each day is remarkably unique. There will never be another August 19, 2010...ever. I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in long term goals and things we're striving for that we forget to enjoy each day. We forget to find delight in the little things. We're too busy to not only stop and smell the proverbial roses but we end up trampling them in our haste to reach our next destination, our next "to do." I'm just as guilty of this. I'm all about planning out my day and then expecting it to go just as I plan. We won't even get into how often that doesn't happen :-) We need to find reasons to celebrate each day and soak up every second of life we can. I think we're all aware of the brevity of life. That fact should make us all the more determined to enjoy each day. Make the decision now to not have just "another day."

anyway

There's a song called "Anyway" by Martina McBride that's my current theme song. I'm not someone who'd be considered a "risk taker." I like to know all details and specifics before agreeing to anything. I'm very much into details and planning. Failure is something I strive to avoid at any and all cost. Yet this song suggests I embrace the opposite of my self-imposed philosophy on life. It says to dream big dreams even if they're scary and slightly overwhelming. It says to love that person even though it may not work out. To me, it's saying pour your life out in your giftings and talents, even if no one sees you. To take that leap of faith...

sauce

I'm a firm believer that butter, salt and cheese can enhance just about any dish (maybe not all three at the same time but those are my staples). And chocolate. How can I forget chocolate? Pasta is one of my favorite foods. I especially like the fun-shaped pasta (rigatoni, manicotti, rotini, etc.). For the longest time I never put sauce on my pasta (unless we're talking about spaghetti and that's a different story). I would add butter and sometimes cheese but I'd often pass on the sauce. It wasn't until I was feeling daring one day that I added sauce with my three staples. I took a bite and my taste buds were very happy. I had no idea what I was missing until I was willing to try something different. And so my point comes into play. How many times do we do the same with God? We insist our life (i.e. pasta) is just fine without "sauce." We don't want anything to upset our carefully constructed bowl of pasta. Yet we have no idea what we're missing by telling Him "thanks but I'm good." I WANT SAUCE!! I want what He has for me even if I don't know it at the time. I'll take the sauce, parmesan and whatever else He deems will make my pasta the absolute best.

fairy tales

I had a realization today that I wanted to share:

Life isn't like the fairy tales. It's messy and unpredictable. It's full of tears and laughter. It's a roller coaster of ups and downs. There are good days and bad. Sunshine and storm clouds. And only you can write the ending...